The Joanna Club

I t’s raining cats and dogs. Off to work again. I don’t even know if I should call it my work, but I do it to survive. But what about the energy? What about all the energy I save — for what? I watch the news. I’m sort of fed up with the good men as well as the bad men; they’re all the same. Constantly attacking others to prove their point. Let’s stay away from that. Cancer. Cancer cells — what have they become? If cancer were to approach me, what would I tell it? Nothing. I have nothing to say to cancer. It’s not looking forward to a conversation, clearly. So what’s new? I look closely. Well, the woman seem more empowered, and also a little fed up with the strong man persona she has to comply with. Yeah, the alphas are as dead as the feminists (though they are not aware of their death; they’re more like zombies). Who needs zombie films when there are so many of them in reality? Zombies here, zombies there, all walking around with their hands clutched together. I’m not making much ...

It's raining cats and dogs. Off to work again. I don't even know if I should call it my work, but I do it to survive. But what about the energy? What about all the energy I save — for what? I watch the news. I'm sort of fed up with the good men as well as the bad men; they're all the same. Constantly attacking others to prove their point. Let's stay away from that. Cancer. Cancer cells — what has become of them? If cancer were to approach me, what would I tell it? Nothing. I have nothing to say to cancer. It's not looking forward to having a good conversation, clearly. So what's new? Well, the woman seem more empowered — and also a little fed up with the strong man persona. Yeah, the alphas are as dead as the feminists (though they are not aware of their death, so they're more like zombies). Who needs zombie films when there are so many of them in reality? Zombies here, zombies there, all walking around with their hands clutched together. I'm not m...

I've been sick for four days.  Monday, I woke up feeling quite tired. At first I didn't understand.I hadn't had much to drink the day before. I was eating healthy, my room was cleaner than it used to be. I picked up the trash and washed the lace curtain that my mother gave me.  Then came the sorrow. I suddenly started to lose control of my emotions. What the fuck am I doing here? No meaning whatsoever. Sadness. Sadness. Sadness. I watched the news, more sadness added. Now everything looks sad and everyone looks mad. What a world we live in. I felt scared, curled up inside my small bed, and covered myself with a brown electric blanket whose umbilical cord I had cut.  I started to cough and feel dizzy. "Ok... I think I am sick." Tuesday, I cannot get out of bed. Wednesday, the thermometer reads 37.4 degrees. Thursday, a little higher — 38.8 degrees. I ordered McDonald's, french fries and a fish burger, because I am a rebel. Took two medications just fo...

This world is a huge shopping mall, at least that's how I feel when I am living in the city. The shops comes closer to you, waiting you right at the station, walk a mile, and you will end up wanting more.  Yes, I wanted. I want. I am wanting.  Every thing seems like the missing puzzle piece.  If only I had that in my life, I would find the love of my life perhaps. But who cares about the dishes you use, the shape of the cup that holds the utensils, and the soaps you lather on to your body??  And even if everything was wonderful what does it mean if I eat a meat balls like a dog and wipe my fingers with my pants because its black and no one can see the stains?  "Haha you fools ! Everything is not visionary." "You gotta sense the invisible if you want to know the truth. "  I am not an inch more. But still I kept looking for the ideal cup that holds my Silicon Chopsticks. And bought a blue cloth to wipe the glass door on my cupboard, Without color, I cannot id...

I haven't had the urge to write, nor to speak with anyone, just the urge to organize the world. This is all so new to me. And like a newborn infant thrown into this world without explanation, I watch videos of people organizing their rooms, as a tutorial, and then, try to see if I could do some of what they are doing. Most of them seem too much. My sister told me that I lost some weight, probably because I've been cooking. I told her that it's just a side effect, I am not trying to lose weight really. I don't give a shit about how I look these days. Who cares the whole world is a chaos I don't buy things or eat out. It takes time because I am not a good cook, but it saves money and it's also better for my health so, I'll keep trying as long as it is not too stressful. I ordered too many carrots though. Now I have to include carrots in everything. I watched Bad Bunny's halftime Super Bowl, I haven't been following his music, so I don't know mu...

For a while, I was so obsessed with organizing the kitchen that I couldn’t do anything else. Such a radical shift in my life, suddenly interested in the mundane. But it happens, once in a blue moon, a dog woman ( not a bitch ) interested in the order of things. “What is order?” “How do I order?” As ADHD as one could ever be, I always had trouble understanding how to order things. Like a flying chaos, everywhere I went litter followed, but the teacher didn’t reprimand  me. They smiled and told my parents  “Her strength is that there is always a friend following her picking things up.”   So that was my strength, to somehow be allowed to live as chaotically as possible without being hated. Moreover they seem amused by it,  I felt like a pure entertainer. Look at me look at me, look at how chaotic things are! And I’m not even trying!  Tidy up ! Tidy up!  "huh?"  "Why the hurry? " I used to think, I took comfort in the chaotic world, it seemed Ok, ju...