I've been sick for four days.

 Monday, I woke up feeling quite tired. At first I didn't understand.I hadn't had much to drink the day before. I was eating healthy, my room was cleaner than it used to be. I picked up the trash and washed the lace curtain that my mother gave me. 

Then came the sorrow. I suddenly started to lose control of my emotions. What the fuck am I doing here? No meaning whatsoever. Sadness. Sadness. Sadness. I watched the news, more sadness added. Now everything looks sad and everyone looks mad. What a world we live in. I felt scared, curled up inside my small bed, and covered myself with a brown electric blanket whose umbilical cord I had cut. 

I started to cough and feel dizzy. "Ok... I think I am sick."

Tuesday, I cannot get out of bed. Wednesday, the thermometer reads 37.4 degrees. Thursday, a little higher — 38.8 degrees. I ordered McDonald's, french fries and a fish burger, because I am a rebel. Took two medications just for the sake of it. I don't want to torture my body. 

And today, I am doing fine. I tend to feel pessimistic when I am sick. No wonder paradise was lost so easily. Health is the foundation of everything, I guess. I felt relieved. As long as my body can fight whatever virus I carry, I could fight the pessimism that was haunting me at that moment.

 And Andrew was arrested! Some good news too. Cheers to Virginia. 

Politics is a mess, so much madness — the line between good and evil so frail it's easy to mistake one for the other. I am never looking for a good man, but I do like a man who cannot lie. And those who cannot lie but can love are the ones I truly admire. While sick in bed I gave a lecture to an imaginary student. So how can we be loved? "One thing you gotta know is...." I continued, and I nailed it!! Of course because its all so imaginary.  Oh well, what do I know about love.  Virtually nothing. ( But I do know more than people assume. I am a dog that barks for love. )

And there is nothing to know about love. Only that you cannot uber it when you have cold.