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For a while, I was so obsessed with organizing the kitchen that I couldn’t do anything else. Such a radical shift in my life, suddenly interested in the mundane. But it happens, once in a blue moon, a dog woman ( not a bitch ) interested in the order of things. “What is order?” “How do I order?” As ADHD as one could ever be, I always had trouble understanding how to order things. Like a flying chaos, everywhere I went litter followed, but the teacher didn’t reprimand  me. They smiled and told my parents  “Her strength is that there is always a friend following her picking things up.” 


 So that was my strength, to somehow be allowed to live as chaotically as possible without being hated. Moreover they seem amused by it,  I felt like a pure entertainer. Look at me look at me, look at how chaotic things are! And I’m not even trying! 


Tidy up ! Tidy up! 


"huh?" 

"Why the hurry? "

I used to think, I took comfort in the chaotic world, it seemed Ok, just a little depressing. But ordering without knowing in what order seemed like a waste of time.

Shall I do it in the order of 123? Or, ABC? Or perhaps its not even that..... According to the shape and color of things? Or what if it was my feeling that had to be involved? Because I want this closer, I need to place it closer, closer to my heart.

That all seemed like a hell a lot of work just to seem organized. And it wasn't like I was having a secret love affair and needed to wow that person. Plus, whoever I fell for seemed even more chaotic than I (How could it be) so I'm sure he/she wouldn't mind.

But now? I wake up, set the timer, clean my room, put a candle and look for the perfect cutting board online, take a walk, find it and look like I found a masterpiece. 

What happened? It's the carrots. Ever since I started eating carrots, I feel like hopping around the world looking for kitchen supplies. 


And the world is a chaos. Candace Owens is protecting Don Lemon, and Joe Rogan is criticizing ICE, and Elon musk and Woody allen and Noam Chomsky are in the Epstein Files? Whoever knew? I watch Woody's film and Candace's youtube, and criticize Epstein and Noam Chomsky all the time!!! How was I to know that I should have kindly put Noam Chomsky in the Epstein Files? 


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