I spent a day cleaning up my room. I watch a movie then listen to music, and clean my messy room. Order is not my strength; chaos is. And I'm always trying to organize things in the order of what sticks. Now now, what do I gravitate towards? Walking step by step, not skipping a moment, staying tuned. The world is going mad!

"And so, although the movie was depicting madness, come to think of it, this is reality. It's harder to depict sanity, isn't it?"  I, the detective, keep on contemplating. 

"So the narcissists seem to want all the attention in the world. But why on earth is that important? I do not understand. I would rather have less attention, because I want to misbehave. I am Miss Behave. I can win the fucking contest. I can't do anything that requires scrutiny. I just cannot care enough. Like a kid trying to escape the gaze of the tedious teacher. " If she didn't see me, he wouldn't be able to lecture me with his boring nonsense." That's how I feel.  Less is more. Less to me, less to me."

I pick up two plastic bottles from the floor. Wash the rice cooker with soap and an orange sponge. 

"So what is going on with the narcissists, I mean, the world? Everyone is talking to the camera and never to one another. Now, that's madness. We are here to converse, not to take head shots and receive millions of likes from strangers. One is enough. A single glance, but a heated single glance, which brings you warmth and a sense of self."

And then I come to a conclusion, rather abruptly, dear radio active ladies and gentlemen, that perhaps he couldn't give me a good haircut because he cannot see me clearly. It's like I do not have a shape, all he does is feel, he is a blind man. 

 Now hear, I am hypothesizing, perhaps because I want things to go on. 

 I have always been blind, unaware of the shape of things. Once a girl was coloring a map according to its local products. I didn't get it. I just saw a colorful mysterious map. So I copied it in random colors and got a C for it. I had no idea the color represented something, and I felt embarrassed. Not anymore.