The world is becoming chaotic day by day. And I am organizing my room little by little. AI is not to be trusted. But being able to use it is important in order to survive. So much power is in the hands of the super rich. And without caving to it, survival feels impossible.

 I bought a new mattress and I am nervous to sleep on it.  The wooden bed frame to it feels too high. As if I am sleeping on a bunk bed. I sense the stress in my body. My body does not like change. Even the smallest difference makes it anxious. Like a prisoner suddenly being freed into a large bedroom. "What am I supposed to do in this place?" Freedom is frightening. 

 But I straighten up the cushions, put a sleeping pad underneath the mattress cover. And now it feels nice. "Perhaps this change won't kill me." The body starts to understand. Such nonsense. Have never heard of a person who died of a big mattress.

 I had a meeting. In such a random space in the city. Somewhere I do not belong. But I somehow feel joy this time. Not knowing where I would land is such a fun experience. Its like a flying seed. So where am I flower next ???? Anywhere. But somewhere unexpected is better. Challenging, but I like that.

 "If you have any questions, you could ask me."  "And also if you want a tequila, I'm always here for you." I smile. It's been a while since I felt like drinking with a co-worker. I've avoided it because I didn't want them to know me, and vice versa. Knowing seemed like a trap, because I have to seem interested. And I am not. Most of the time.

 The world seems chaotic, and it makes me anxious. And what could I do???

 Doing the right thing is not for me, because then I cannot make mistakes. I only learn from my own mistakes. But I try to own it and make adjustments, but most people seem to believe that admitting your mistakes is weakness, and die denying it is strength. And I do not want to have that standard embedded in my system.

 Change is stressful, but it could be for the better good. And to make it a better change owning your mistakes is crucial.